Western Front - 1975 March 11

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Flaming Zucchini astonishes
students in Red Square
CAROLYN CRAIG
"Praise Reverend Chumley!" Quiet
at first, then louder, the reverent cry"
rose skyward from a sun drenched Red
Square.
It came from a large group of
students sitting in an enraptured circle
around a bearded, pony tailed young
man.
Who was he? A prophet, a saint
perhaps?
" I , " he said, "am the Flaming
Zucchini. The acolyte of . Reverend
Chumley's Miraculous Church of the
Incandescent Resurrection."
"Brothers and Sisters," he cried,
with all the fire of an old time revival,
"are you ready to be astonished? Are
you ready to be amazed by
unmitigated feats of moral outrage?"
"I have here flame," he said,
brandishing a lighted torch, "as
worshipped by Hedonist and Calvinistic
savages.
"And now, in a feat of moral
indignation and self abasement, the
flaming singe!"
With that, he knelt on the
ground, tilted his head toward the sky
and lowered the flaming torch into his
mouth.
Hundreds of students gathered
Thursday afternoon in Red Square
watching the Flaming Zucchini
perform his remarkable fire eating act,
looking on in amazement.
After the act, The Flaming
Zucchini, who asked that his legal
name (which he calls his alias) remain
a secret, explained he started out as a
"starving actor."
"But I've discovered that most
people would rather watch someone
set their' head on fire than go to the
theater," he continued.
A self-taught flame eater, the
Zucchini said "every second rate
carnival performer and sideshow artist
in the past 200 years has written an
autobiography. So I went into an old
book store, "bought one written by a
flame eater in the '20s and started
practicing."
But practicing flame eating is quite
different than practicing the piano. "I
burned the shit out of myself at first,"
The Zucchini said.
Four years later, he had about as
much difficulty lowering one, two,
even three lighted torches into his
mouth as most people would have
putting a Rawls ice cream cone into
theirs.
The Zucchini not only eats fire, he
also lays on a bed of nails, walks the
tightrope, does trapeze stunts and lays
between two stools with a 50 pound
cement block on his bare stomach. As
if that isn't enough, he has a volunteer
from the audience pound the block to
pieces with a sledge hammer.
The Zucchini is planning to embark
on an around the world sailboat trip
next fall, even though he's not quite
sure yet where he's going to get the
sailboat.
For the present, though, the
Zucchini is content with his life on
Stewart Island in the San Juans. "My
wants are few," he said.
Occasionally, since he doesn't make
wine or grow his own, he leaves the
island to do a show.
And the show goes on . . .
"Now, brothers, and sisters, the
flame eating stunt that has stunted
many a flame eater."
"Yes, before your very eyes, I will
perform an unnatural act!" he cries to
a wide-eyed audience. "The Flamiiv
Flame Ball!"
"But I cannot do it alone — I need
your spiritual succor to raise me to an
orgasmic frenzy of divine power."
"Now, use your diaphragms, those
of you who brought them, and raise
your voices to the sky!" screamed the
Flaming Zucchini.
"Praise Reverend Chumley!"
"Louder, heathens, do you want to
burn?" he growled.
' ' P R A I S E R E V E R E ND
CHUMLEY!!"
The Flaming Zucchini stepped
backward, looking reverently toward
the heavens, and from his mouth a
huge ball of golden flame shot
skyward.
HEARTBURN? The Flaming Zucchini sends a ball of fire skyward at the climax of his
revival sideshow performed on Red Square last Thursday.
State employes union rejects strike proposal
GREG COHEN
Students, faculty and administrators can
breathe a collective sigh of relief at least
temporarily following the announcement Friday
that Washington Federation of State Employes
barely missed authorizing the union's leadership
to call a strike.
The unofficial results of Thursday's election,
NO STRIKE - Although the WFSE union
membership voted not to strike now, this button
may still be used this summer.
announced late Friday gave a 7,745 yes vote and
3,984 against.
That averaged out to a 66 per cent "to
strike" vote. The union needed 67 per cent
affirmative votes. It fell 73 votes short, according
to union spokesmen.
The union's local at Western had voted 165 in.
favor of a strike and 56 against.
The union had called for the strike vote to
show its discontent for the legislature's failure to
come , up with additional funds for state
employes salaries above the recommended 11.43
per cent average boost.
' ' "We'll keep negotiating with the legislature
for additional salary increases in the
supplemental and general budgets," Larry
Goodman, union director of personnel board
activities, said.
State employes are almost assured of an 11.43
per cent average salary' increase. The increase is
part of the supplemental budget approved by the
Washington House and now before the
Washington Senate.
Gov. Dan Evans has recommended a six per
cent keep-up factor for state employes beginning
next July 1 as part of his general budget. The
union is seeking a ten per cent boost to offset
inflationary costs.
Union sources in Olympia said Friday that the
union could still call for another vote and
possibly strike action if the legislature fails to
approve "adequate" salary increases.
Asked if the outcome of Thursday's vote
would have an adverse affect on the union's
bargaining position with the legislature, Goodman
said:
"Our position hasn't been jeopardized by the
vote. We set a very high goal for ourselves and I
think we now can show we have a mandate to
continue seeking just salary increases."
^
Environment is still an issue
Frontscope takes a look at some of the problems still plaguing
the environment and at what some people are doing about it.
Story on page 7.
The Front parodies the P-\
There's something funny about this Hertz newspaper. See if
you can find it on page 9.
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